I am extending this by an extra day thanks to a couple of good suggestions, and a desire to end it on a positive note. So we’ll wrap it up tomorrow.
I actually really like people.
I honesty like everyone I meet, whether I want to or not.
It’s a curse.
I also really trust people.
As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, for every person who has done something shady to me, thousands and thousands have not. I constantly give people the opportunity to screw me over, and they don’t.
People tend to show up when they are supposed to show up and do the things they are supposed to do to fit into society and be a decent human. We all know people who don’t do these things, but we tend to remember them because they are the exception. We forget just how many people we see every day who take care of their shit.
People are generally trustworthy.
I know what you’re saying though:
“What about the people we talked about yesterday? You just wrote an article about toxic people and booting them from your life, so you obviously know they exist.”
You’re right, I did write that and I definitely know they exist.
But I also think you can trust toxic people more that you can trust anyone else.
They are very consistent in their behavior and their actions are predictable.
Think about it.
If you know someone always thinks the other person is wrong in a disagreement, you can trust them to do the same with you when you disagree.
If you know someone starts trouble to make themselves feel better, you can trust them to do just that if you tell them about an issue you are having with someone else.
If you know someone is lazy, you trust them to be lazy.
If you know someone has no insight, you can trust they will behave as they have always behaved.
It is absurd to have this hope that someone is suddenly going to change and then get mad when they don’t. Adjust your expectations to fit what you know of them, and make your decision based on that rather than some hopeful nonsense.
If you know you can trust someone to respond selfishly, don’t share something personal with them and expect yourself to be happy or satisfied with the results.
If you know you can trust someone to blame others when things go wrong, don’t work with them on something unless you are ready to shoulder the blame.
Complainers will complain.
Blamers will blame.
Manipulators will manipulate.
Why are we surprised by this?
So, yes, you can trust people. You can trust them to act according to their nature.
Work from this and you will rarely get betrayed or be harmed. Don’t get mad at them, remember that they are doing the best they can with what they have.
Personally, I would also encourage you to reach out to untrustworthy people and give them a chance.
Most of the time they will do exactly what you expect them to do.
But sometimes they will surprise you, and that is an incredible opportunity for something cool.