Dying Daily #53: Living and Breathing

 

“Because my life is dope and I do dope shit.”

Kanye West, as quoted by Dave Chapelle.

That is honestly one of my favorite quotes ever. Look up the video to see why Jimmy Fallon is one of my least favorite people ever. So fake.

Another question, we are coming up on the end of them. Last one about how awesome life is for a while, I promise.

Why do you choose to keep living and breathing every day?

Funny story: Years back, I would spend every New Year’s Eve alone, deciding if it was worth it live another year, sort of deciding if I had earned it. Every year I found reasons. Things I had accomplished, things I was hoping to accomplish, the fact that Tyler actually seemed to need me and liked having me around. At some point I let go of this practice, and simply accepted I would live through the next year unless something else killed me. It just wouldn’t be me.

I switched this out with the idea that one day I would kill myself after I had outlived everyone I loved and cared about. With some of the choices I make from time to time I have no idea why I assumed I would outlive anyone, but I figured I would and then I would kill myself.

All of this is way behind me now. I have no intention of ever killing myself, under any circumstances. Life is too cool.

That is really the only way I have to answer the question of why I choose to keep living and breathing every day. Life is cool.

I would live forever if it was offered to me, and I do not think I would ever get bored.

Every day is something new, a new opportunity to learn, a new chance to meet people, nothing has ever been repeated, ever. It’s all original. We make the mistake of thinking we do the same things, but we don’t. It’s all brand new.

I think it is a tragedy every time a life ends. A window on a thoroughly unique, unrepeatable experience closes forever, and it takes so much with it. Even the worst people on the planet have an inner world that matters to them, and if we lived in it with them we would understand why they are terrible. The loss of life has begun bothering me enough I find myself consciously avoiding clicking on certain articles and even avoiding some topics entirely.

I have this right now, and that is enough for me. I love it.

Life is dope. Do dope shit.