Dying Daily #49: Mindfulness Monday – Why?

This one was sparked by a series of questions someone sent me about my motivations for doing the things I do. I figure we can use it as a vehicle for being mindful today while I figure out how to answer the other questions.

As counselors, we are told we shouldn’t ask why. They say it’s a bad question, that it is not fair. “If people knew why they do what they do they wouldn’t need counseling!”.

I like asking why.

When asked without accusation, it can bring forth some very powerful answers that help us get to the heart of what motivates us, and we can examine unhealthy things that may be driving us.

We all have these things, no one is free of them. If someone tells you they are, run, because they are full of shit and are about to try and sell you something. Probably enlightenment or brand new twist on something someone else has already come up with or something they have blessed.

It’s just tap water.

So, today. Try to notice some things you do automatically.

Some are innocuous, like listening to the radio in the car or putting dishes in the sink without rinsing them.

Others are more problematic. Hitting the snooze button a dozen times or binging Netflix every weekend.

Then there are the ones that are outright destructive. Using alcohol or drugs as a way to deal with stress and anxiety or isolating yourself from your spouse or family after a long day.

There are reasons we do these things, but they can become so automatic we are not aware of them. We accept them as just being part of what “is”. And they destroy us.

So, today, try to notice a few habits you might have developed that you don’t even think about. What are they doing for you? What need do they fill in your life?

What do you need to do to step away from the destructive ones?

We are little more than the sum of our habits, it seems wise to be intentional about what they are.