Dying Daily #350: It’s Not You, It’s Me

It's Not You, It's Me

It’s Not Me

I like to think that I struggle because of other people.

I tell myself that most of the problems in my life come from other people’s decisions, rather than my own.

I keep my stuff in line.

I take care of what I need to take care of.

I do what I need to do.

I maintain.

I.

I.

I. 

Much of the frustration or inconvenience in my life is the result of other people not keeping their stuff in line, not taking care of what they need to take care of, not maintaining.

This is what my mind likes to tell me at least.

Fine, It Is Me

The first problem with this idea is that I am, of course, not perfect and am, at the very least, responsible for some of the difficulty in my life. The second problem is that when I am focused on what other people are doing, I am not focused on what I am doing. Lastly, it is my response that is causing me trouble here. I cannot see that if I am looking at everyone around me.

It is delusional to think we are not the source of our suffering – other people can bring us pain and annoyance and difficulty, but these things only turn into suffering through our perspective on them.

So, instead of looking at what everyone around me is doing, it may be easier if I focus on my response to it. Even if I was all great and cool and perfect, other people would be able to bring me suffering if my response to their actions was not great and cool and perfect. The good news is that I can avoid suffering even though I am deeply flawed and profoundly foolish.

Maybe.