Dying Daily #228: Mindfulness and Marriage

Being mindful in marriage can change everything.

It can take us from digging in our heels so that we get our way, to remembering that we love the person standing across from us. It can help us remember that they are a real human being, with their own hopes and desires and wants and needs.

Being aware of our emotions lets us step away and take a breath when we are angry and resentful so that we can approach things more openly.

It helps us know the difference between what is happening and our thoughts about what is happening. It helps us avoid thinking we can read the other person’s mind and assigning motives for what they are doing. It opens up space for us to simply ask them why they are doing what they are doing, or not doing what we want them want them to.

An honest awareness of self helps us remember that what we want isn’t important anyway.

There is never a reason to fight with he people we love. We are all going to die someday and every moment we have with them is precious, but this gets lost in the fight or flight mentality we shift into when arguing.

A mindful awareness of self, of what we are thinking and feeling – of our whole experience – allows us to choose how and who we want to be in every moment, even the tough ones.