Dying Daily #227: Mindful Confrontation

Confrontation is a part of a life, and it is not an inherently bad thing.

All change is born of confrontation.

Confrontation is the necessary factor for change to occur, whether in ourselves, our relationships or on a large scale.

Problems emerge when we do not approach confrontation mindfully, when we allow anger or fear to rule the situation. With a mindful approach we can use confrontation to bring help and change, but once ego and selfishness work their way in things go south.

The opportunity for positive confrontation is everywhere.

A parent confronts their child to keep them from running into the street or sticking nails into a socket.

A person confronts their partner about their dismissive attitude or the inappropriate boundaries they have with someone they work with.

A group of people confronts a man striking his partner outside of a bar.

A military confronts a dictator who starves his own people to death or is committing genocide.

A person confronts themselves about unhealthy and unskillful life choices, and seeks out help.

All of these situations have the potential for a positive solution to emerge, to change things for the better if everyone works on them from their best selves and are mindful of why they are confronting. I’m not stupid, I know that the larger the group of people involved, the less likely this is to happen, but it is possible.

Are there things you aren’t confronting in your life? What is preventing you from doing this?

Is there a mindful, compassionate way to address them?

What does the fear or anger feel like without the stories and resistances?

Has anything ever changed for the better without confrontation?