Dying Daily #18: Embracing Fate

 

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

 

One guess where I am writing this from.

Nope, not the mountains.

Still in Lubbock.

Texas.

Where I live.

Not where I was going to vacation.

Sometimes it is about accepting what is in front of you. An hour into my trip yesterday the only thing in front of me was how tired I was. It would have been easier if I would have admitted this before I almost made it to the New Mexico border, but I do what I do.

So, I turned around. I came home, and I went to bed.

There are very few things that have changed my life as much as learning to accept things. I spent my whole life doing what I was told not to do, for no other reason than someone told me not to do it. I used to think it was a way to express my freedom or choice, but I’ve realized it never was. In reacting against what people told me to do, I was actually controlled by them indirectly. Well applied reverse psychology would have been the end of me.

I thought acceptance was the ultimate goal, but it turns out there is something beyond accepting what you cannot change.

You can embrace it. Accepting your fate is one thing, but embracing it is something else entirely. It’s about doing more than just passively accepting things, but understanding that they are as they must be, and sprinting toward them.

My trip.

Resistance would have meant pushing through, going anyway, most likely not enjoying being there, and coming back more tired than I went. Acceptance would have been turning around, coming home and trying not to have a bad attitude about it.

Embracing it is a little different. It meant coming home and resting, but also making the most of the time. I stayed home with Max so B could go wrestle. He and I hung out all night, and today I am putting some work into my new office. I am going to do some reading and prepare to speak at LCU and TTU later this month. I am going to catch up on some blogs I read, and I may re-build my fence. I may ride my bike. I would like to go shoot my bow in the backyard. And I will rest and take a nap so that all of this doesn’t carry into the week.

But, if it does, I will embrace that, and it will be fine.